


Stall and Crash

by Raaj



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Non-Consensual Drug Use, POV Ryuji, Psychological Trauma, but ultimately it's a 'everyone wants ren to be okay' fic, flirting with p5 protagonist has a palace, if you squint and see ren/ryuji or polythieves it's because i'm biased, reference to the sellout bad ending, spoilers for November, trauma breaks a safe room
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 17:06:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17853662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raaj/pseuds/Raaj
Summary: "Ryuji saw Ren's face, and his stomach dropped with the sudden certainty that they'd all screwed up.  They should never have agreed to start the infiltration so soon."They're just teenagers; they don't really know how to deal with the aftermath of a brutal interrogation.  Especially when they don't know for sure how bad it was.  When Ren pushes for a quick run through the next palace, the other Phantom Thieves reluctantly go along with it, only to realize that was most definitely a mistake.





	Stall and Crash

_"Five seconds into confusion and what does Joker do?!"_

Ryuji winced at Futaba yelling over her telepathic link to them, his next swing at Sarasvati barely connecting. "Oh my god, he threw away the relax gel," he could hear Ann saying from behind.

...For real? Well, that solved the mystery of who'd been holding onto the last one. A mystery Ryuji was wishing they'd solved sooner.

_"Ding ding! He throws away the relax gel! Straight into the cognitive ocean! I'm pinging Queen now, she's going to love this."_

Ren was usually the most composed of all of them, but confusion never did anyone any favors. His eyes were unfocused under his domino mask as he outright ignored the battle around him in favor of patting himself down. He mumbled to himself and haphazardly discarded items and yen onto the deck of Shido's luxury liner. To be fair to Ren, he'd been under confusion for closer to a minute than five seconds, and it was normal for their inventory to take some trimming when someone got hit with confusion, but if Ryuji hadn't known better he would have thought Ren was trying to set a record for how fast he could empty his pockets.

"How ironic that he would throw away his own cure," Yusuke remarked. His grimace betrayed the seriousness of the situation, though. Their best fighter having a screw loose was making what should have been a regular shadow encounter trickier. "Skull, let us--"

"Yeah!" They'd seen situations like this enough for Ryuji to guess what his friend was suggesting. "Panther, hang back with Joker, see if you can snap him out of it!" In the meantime, he and Yusuke would have to unload on the enemy shadows to make them back off. He ripped off his skull mask. "Seiten Taisei!"

"Kamu Susano-o!"

The group of Parvatis and Sarasvatis before them didn't have any elemental weaknesses they could exploit, so they stuck to hard-hitting physical attacks. Kamu Susano-o unleashed his blade freely, striking all four shadows in the group, while Ryuji sent Seiten Taisei after the Sarasvati that had confused Ren in the first place--if she got any more of them mixed-up, they'd be in real trouble.

But keeping the shadows farther back didn't stop them from unleashing magical attacks. One of the Parvati drew back, focused--and her Psiodyne struck Ren full on. Already suffering from a mental ailment, he had no resistance to the psy attack. It slammed him down to the floor like a rag doll with him crying out in bewilderment and pain.

Ryuji snarled, summoning Seiten Taisei once again. These big attacks took a lot out of him too, but that didn't matter; he was going to get rid of these guys. Yusuke's persona was already slashing and cutting again.

_"Hey, something's wrong with Joker--"_

When Futaba sounded worried, it was definitely time to start being concerned. "Panther! Can you heal him?!"

"Already on it!"

Ryuji wanted to keep going wild with his persona, but its rampage of bludgeoning was starting to exhaust him. He hefted his spiked rod, catching Yusuke's eye. The other boy nodded slightly at one shadow and let his hand drift to his katana. They'd focus on that sucker, then, team up and pick it off while watching each other's backs so they didn't get picked off themselves. But before they could rush in--

_"--wh, whoa, wait, KNIFE! Panther!"_

Ann screamed. Yusuke and Ryuji both looked back, and Ryuji immediately paid for the distraction with a blow to the head that made him stumble, but then he was running. "Fox, vanish ball, we gotta go!" Ryuji yelled. Shit, they should have cut and run the second Ren had managed to throw away the relax gel.

The knife was Joker's. Ren was charging Ann, swinging his dagger at her wildly as she and Futaba both yelled at him to stop. Ann was keeping out of his reach so far, and Ren was stumbling, favoring one leg, but there was a desperation in his expression that was terrifying. Nearly all of them had experienced confusion at some point. It could make the smartest person a stupid mess with a fascination for dumping supplies in the middle of a fight. It had never made one of them attack another thief before.

Fox threw down the vanish ball right as Ryuji reached them. Ann winced at the dazzling light but didn't stop backing away, while Ren froze entirely, instinctively flinching and raising an arm to protect his eyes. Ryuji took advantage of the distraction and tackled Ren, grabbing his wrist as they went down to make sure the knife was pointed away. It'd be bad if it ended up in either of them.

_"Queen, Noir, Mona, we've got a situation here! Hurry--"_

Ren struggled, using the leg that hadn't been pinned by Ryuji's weight to repeatedly knee him in the side. Ryuji grunted and tried not to tear up. Goddamn, he could already tell that was going to end up a massive bruise if it didn't get healed. "Joker, stop!" he yelled. "It's me!"

"Let me go!"

There was zero recognition in his friend's glazed eyes. Just fear. His lips were curled back in a trembling, angry snarl. If this was still the Tentarafoo at work, it had scrambled Ren's brain real bad. Ryuji focused on trying to pry the knife away, but the guy had a white-knuckled grip on it. Good instinct for not losing a weapon while confused. Wasn't making Ryuji feel great about whether Ren would stab him given the chance.

"Hecate, Dormina!"

Ann's spell wasn't aimed at the enemies. Ryuji was surprised to see the magic bubble over Ren, but it was a relief when his fierce expression faltered and settled into a puzzled stupor. His gray eyes began to flutter shut. Now it was easy to force his grip open, and Ryuji grabbed the knife and stashed it in his own ammo belt. Putting a teammate to sleep wasn't how they usually handled confusion--but when they were out of relax gels and Tentarafoo had somehow sent said teammate berserk, it was probably the safest way.

But the gentle effervescence of the Dormina spell was wiped away by a wave of blue flame racing over Ren, and the fire was in turn snuffed out by a sticky-sounding bubbling of black miasma covering every inch of him. Ryuji jerked in alarm, reaching out to Ren, but both reactions were finished by the time his hand grabbed the shoulder of Ren's...blazer. His trenchcoat was gone. It had been replaced by a rumpled black school blazer and the tartan uniform pants that went with it, both heavily wrinkled and creased, and his face was no longer covered by a mask. Ren looked nothing like a gentleman thief as his head lolled back on the deck and his chest rose and fell with uneven breaths.

Something was very wrong. Not only had Ren somehow lost his Metaverse outfit, something no one had happen after their first awakening, but the clothes that had replaced it weren't even what he'd been wearing before they'd entered the palace. People playing dead didn't attend school.

"Wh--what?" Ann stammered from behind. "Oracle?!"

 _"Get him to the safe room, now."_ The dead seriousness in Futaba's telepathic voice made Ryuji move even faster as he grabbed Ren's arm and pulled it over his shoulders, taking the weight of his friend on him in a fireman's carry. Their navigator was still firing off the directions to the next safe room as Ryuji pushed up and started moving. The blinding effect of the vanish ball would be wearing off any minute. The persistent chill in the air told him Yusuke was doing everything to slow the enemy down, and he was pretty hopeful that he could hear Makoto's persona roaring closer, but when Ren was out with zero resistance to jack shit, Ryuji was going to leave evaluating the situation to Futaba and focus on hightailing it. The only thing slowing him down was trying to use one hand to grab the smokescreen out of his belt. If he got caught on the way by a patrolling shadow on the way, Ren and him would both be sitting ducks.

Ann slipped her hand into his belt, grabbing the smokescreen for him. "Queen, I'm covering Skull!" she called--oh, good, so reinforcements were on the scene. She positioned the smokescreen between her fingers so she could hold it and cradle her machine gun at the same time, following Ryuji closely as he stormed down the path Futaba had given.

It only took a minute to get there, but that minute felt way too long when Ryuji was all too aware of how vulnerable Ren was. His heart felt like it stopped for two seconds between a guard bellowing at them and the turn of the hallway where Ann threw down the smokescreen to obscure which direction they'd take, then shot a wild spray of bullets to deter the shadow from even trying to follow. The two blondes knew to hold their breath until they got out of the area, but as the dark smoke rose, Ren started coughing and jerked awake violently. Still disoriented, if the way he tried to snatch his hand out of Ryuji's grip and shoved against the steel back armor was any hint.

Ann hesitated, but when Ryuji staggered from the force of a second shove throwing him off-balance, she grabbed his arm to help steady him and cast Dormina on Ren again. He immediately slumped back down against Ryuji and quieted as he fell asleep once more. "I really hope this isn't hurting him," she murmured once they were clear of the smoke.

Hurting him? Ryuji kept plodding forward, trying to ignore the slight ache in his back, but with the door of their destination now in sight he felt safe enough to give Ann a look. "It's just sleep."

"Yeah, and it was just confusion."

...Maybe she was right to be worried. Ren's reaction to that hadn't been normal. And shouldn't Dormina have cleared the confusion out, even if it was by putting him down for a nap? Ryuji shook his head, trying to push that train of thought away. "He'll be fine in the safe room," he said, forcing confidence. "We got you, Mona, Queen, Noir--whatever's wrong, we can patch Joker up."

Even if he didn't know why the status ailment would make Ren lose his metaverse outfit. That came from his image of a rebel, right? So why would he lose that from a simple ailment?

Ann opened the door for him, the air of the safe room rippling in a familiar way as they entered. Shido's twisted cognition was weaker here. Ryuji felt a weight fall off him both literally and metaphorically as he leaned over one of the many deluxe chairs and let Ren slide off into the overly plush cushions.

Then he saw Ren's face, and his stomach dropped with the sudden certainty that they'd all screwed up. They should never have agreed to start the infiltration so soon. Bruises from the Psiodyne hit were darkening on Ren's face, and the marks highlighted how pale he was. He didn't look any better than he had five days ago, when he'd come back from being drugged and beaten by the police--honestly, he looked worse when he couldn't make stupid jokes or pull a smirk. Ann moved in to finally heal the injuries, now that they had a moment of calm, and it was jarring to see her in her crimson catsuit next to Ren wearing a crumpled school uniform that he shouldn't be wearing in the first place. But he was safe, and the bruises were fading with her magic, and Ryuji tried to make himself calm down by breathing the way Makoto had shown him back at the beginning of November, when they'd realized they were both going to be sharing space with someone planning to shoot Ren for a couple weeks. A steady inhale, a pause, and a longer exhale. Maybe they'd messed up, but they'd gotten to the safe room. Everything was going to be fine.

...The air was shifting again. The ripples of distortion in a safe room usually came through slow and lazy, but these were fast and jerky, like part of a strong river current. And the gaps in the distortion weren't showing the room as it was in reality, either--at least, Ryuji didn't think the Diet building would be so dimly lit. It'd probably have better furniture, too; the chair Ren was sitting on had turned all hard metal for a second. For a second, it had looked more like--

Ryuji's stomach turned over. He took another breath. Too deep. His side still hurt.

 _"Looks like you guys got to the safe room. Good,"_ Futaba noted. _"Let Joker sleep, at least until we get there. It's free healing, so... might help with this."_

"You don't sound too sure about that," Ryuji said. "What's wrong with him?"

_"Don't know."_

"Oracle--"

 _"Don't know, not making wild guesses,"_ Futaba snapped. The air rippled a third time. The room seemed to give off an uneasy mood even when it had snapped back to its normal appearance, but Ryuji couldn't pinpoint why. _"I'll figure it out when we get there. The others got tailed by a couple weaklings, we're mopping up--"_

"Oracle, maybe we should meet at the entrance instead. I--I think he's distorting the safe room," Ann interrupted, tugging on one of her long pigtails.

Ryuji stared at her. "He's sleeping, he ain't--"

"Skull." A fourth ripple. Despite her nervous gesture, Ann spoke firmly to him. "Look at the walls. Look at the furniture."

Now that she was pointing it out, he realized what was wrong. The walls still had paintings on them, but they had been stripped of their fancy wallpaper. And with the next ripple of the air, two chairs vanished and didn't come back. The room was emptying. "Oh, fuck."

But it couldn't be Ren distorting the room, because that would mean--

_"Oh, okay, yeah, I'm starting to pick those up all the way over here. But--Mona--?"_

Ryuji's boot started to beat impatiently against the floor as Futaba's voice faded out, because why was she talking to Morgana when they needed help for Ren here, but the cat's voice cut in over the connection after only a few seconds, before Ryuji completely lost his cool. _"Don't take him out of there! Even if it looks bad, a safe room is the best place for him right now!"_

"Are you sure about that, Mona?" Ann called. At the same moment, the light in the room died completely. The side lamps shorted out, and the light coming in from outside the portholes slipped away as the small windows disappeared.

Ryuji instantly reacted, reaching through the pitch-black to pick Ren up once more. He braced his sleeping friend against him with one arm despite the soreness in his side; his other hand grabbed for Ann's glove. Maybe it was far-fetched, but he'd been struck by the sudden fear that one of them might disappear from the distortions too. He felt less stupid about it when Ann squeezed his hand back, whispering, "Joker...?"

"I got him," Ryuji reassured her. Her other hand brushed against his chest, fumbling between him and Ren as she took a step closer and figured out where Ren was for herself.

_"If he's creating distortions, he can't protect himself from the distortions of others either! You guys remember how I lost my memory, don't you? Shido's cognition is weakest in the safe rooms, so keep him there!"_

"Wait a sec, are you for real?!" Ryuji yelled. "He could lose his memory?" That was going way past what a status ailment could do. How the hell had a simple Tentarafoo messed Ren up so bad?

"No, he'll be fine," Ann said quickly. "We're staying in the safe room, so he'll be fine until the others get here. Right, Mona? Oracle?"

 _"Yeah."_  The feline's voice was softer as he spoke this time. _"I was wandering through palaces for a while, I think. He should be okay in there, and it sounds like he only spent a couple minutes outside. It's just...he's vulnerable, and this palace in particular... We need to be especially careful with him right now."_

 _"We're hurrying over to you guys,"_  Futaba added. _"Hold on."_

Ryuji huffed as the connection cut out. "What the hell else are we gonna do? Can't even see in here..." It was as bad as The House of Darkness in Sae's palace had been.

Ann tugged on his hand gently, guiding both him and Ren toward one wall. "Let's sit down. We're not going anywhere, I might as well heal you. Pretty sure you took some hits even before Joker started beating you up."

"He didn't get me that bad." It was automatic to downplay the scuffle; they all knew things could get ugly where mental ailments were involved. And he already knew Ren would feel lousy about it if he remembered when he woke up, especially because it hadn't even been a brainwashing spell. Especially with everything else going on. "Least I stopped him before he could get you." A knife wound might have been harder to shrug off afterward.

"Yeah, you did. Thanks."

They had managed to find the wall and get themselves sitting down, Ren propped on the side of Ryuji that wasn't getting attention from Ann, when light came back to the room. It wasn't much, just one lone bulb set overhead. But it was enough to show the state of the room. The walls were now completely bare. The many chairs of the safe room had reduced to two, no longer plush seats but hard metal folding chairs, and the table they were set at had become a stark off-white instead of elegant wood.

The ripples had stopped. The room was already settled into its newly distorted state.

Ryuji closed his eyes and grit his teeth. This was definitely the interrogation room. And that meant it really was Ren's distortion, because...it explained his clothes, didn't it? And there wasn't any reason for the interrogation room to be particularly important to Shido. Ryuji wanted very badly to _make_  it significant to Shido, as the time he screwed up and pissed off the wrong people, but it wasn't yet. "Can't believe we let him bullshit us."

Ann's hands stilled over his side. "If you're going to be mad, you better get it out before he wakes up," she told him, her voice sharp. "Whatever's wrong, you yelling at him isn't going to help."

"I ain't mad at _him_ ," Ryuji tossed back. "I'm mad at us! I'm mad at myself! Why--" He cut himself off when Ren whimpered, snapping his head to look at him worriedly. Dormina was pretty strong; people could sleep through fights going on around them until they got hit themselves. Still, it probably wasn't smart to yell with Ren resting on him. He squeezed Ren's shoulder and mumbled "not mad at you", then focused on his breathing again. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. He could hear Makoto telling him he was doing it wrong, too fast, forgetting to pause and hold it. "We knew he wasn't fine."

Ann wrapped her arms around her legs, staring at the ground. "We've already had this argument seven different ways. He's not okay. We can't expect him to be okay. We don't know when he'll be okay. We can't tell him to wait until we decide it's okay, because he's the one who'd know best. We need him to talk to us, he won't talk to us, if we don't start we're _all_  going to get wound up about the election and then he'll never talk about it at all." She circled a finger around as she spoke, miming the uncertain path the group chat had taken.

Ren might be upset if he ever learned they were having a group chat without him, specifically about him. It had started a few days before they'd sent Sae's calling card, a way for everyone to vent 2 am worries or second thoughts about the plan without psyching him out. Not that Ryuji had had much worry then; he'd even reassured _Futaba_  at one point that of course she'd be able to pull off her part of the plan. The chat had gone through bursts of activity from the moment they'd gotten home after Ren's capture, to Makoto frantically keysmashing that she'd failed to consider cognitive Akechi and was going to take care of him immediately, with or without backup (Ryuji had taken the last train and _sprinted_ ), through everyone exchanging brief reassurances after the false announcement of the Phantom Thieves' leader's suicide, to Futaba setting off all their phones with a quiet but triumphant jingle to draw their attention to her own announcement: Ren was alive and coming home. Everyone had chimed in with their joy and relief; Makoto had reminded them all to continue acting as though they believed the fake suicide report. It went quiet after that for about seven hours. Ryuji had thought that was the end of that group chat.

Turned out it had only been quiet that long because Futaba completely crashed after confirming Ren was alive and in Sae's care, taking her first rest since they'd fought Sae's shadow at the casino. When she woke up and saw the state he was in, the group chat ended up flooded by her rants: first about the police, then later about Ren's shady doctor friend, because Takemi was sticking to her guns on doctor-patient confidentiality and considered what she'd told Sojiro about Ren's condition enough, and everyone knew Boss wasn't going to pass the worst details on to Futaba.  Or, by extension, the rest of them. She researched and told Makoto to pump her sister for what she knew, but Sae's answers weren't any more detailed than what Futaba had already figured out. In the end, none of them felt like they knew enough. Ryuji had tried searching the internet himself about what kind of drugs the police might have used, only to feel overwhelmed by the results without having a clue if any of them actually matched what Ren had experienced. Ren played the whole thing off--they stuck a needle in him and he got a little woozy, but he still got through the interrogation fine, so no big deal. It didn't feel like he was saying everything. But what were they supposed to do, grill him with their own interrogation? Yeah, right. The chat became a way of coordinating everyone checking in on Ren so they weren't obvious about it, and when it became clear they'd failed at that, to at least try not to be smothering. Before their first infiltration of Shido's palace, it turned into a discussion of if they should go or stall Ren, with no clean and cut answer found. They'd already said they would immediately go after whoever was pulling Akechi's strings, but that was before they had known Ren would come back covered in bruises. No one wanted to shut him down when he brought infiltration up, because he absolutely deserved to get revenge against the guy who'd ordered him killed, but--he was acting a bit distant with everyone, even as he insisted he was ready to go into the metaverse. Then again, who wouldn't be a little off after what he'd gone through? 'It'd be weirder if he wasn't throwing a few exceptions' was how Futaba had put it. Yusuke had pointed out that denying Ren would frustrate him and possibly make him feel incapable and anxious about their ability to clear the palace before the election, feelings that would not improve his mental state. After a lot of frustrating back and forth, everyone had agreed that they should trust Ren to know his limits, and they would watch out for him just in case.

Well. Look what had happened, on only their second infiltration of the palace. Ryuji couldn't help but feel both upset and guilty. Especially because-- "None of us said _anything_  when he called it for today though. Like the first day went all right, so we just figured everything was going to be smooth sailing after that." Hell, Ryuji had been itching to go in and pull off some good tag-teaming with Ren, because baton passes were still okay when softer touches and hugs in the real world led to stiff shoulders and distance between them. Stupid. Selfish.

Ryuji knew from the guilty frown tugging at Ann's mouth that she wasn't feeling much different. She opened her mouth to say something, but then the door to the safe room opened. Her shoulders tensed up, easing when she saw it was only the rest of the group. "Hey, guys."

The other thieves nearly stopped dead in the doorway, staring at the room and then at Ren's altered appearance. Even after they'd shuffled through, it took a few seconds for Makoto to remember to close the door, which she did without turning or even looking. Their tactician looked like she'd been rooted to the spot, her mask doing nothing to hide her horror. Morgana recovered the quickest, bounding over to examine Ren. His wide-eyed worry and Futaba's cryptic expression as she followed behind, too much of her face hidden by her large goggles, snuffed whatever hope Ryuji had held for quick reassurances from the team's Metaverse experts.

Futaba crouched in front of Ren, staring at him, but she directed a question to Ann. "Panther, you were closest to him while he was confused. Notice anything unusual before he flipped out?"

"Um...not really. Except..." Ann had everyone's attention as she reached into her thief suit, only to pull out--when had she gotten Ren's phone? "It kind of seemed like he was looking for his phone specifically. Maybe it was just a coincidence, but he stopped pulling out his pockets when he got it out. He didn't drop it until the Psiodyne hit him."

Yusuke looked up from unwrapping a moist katsu bun, its plastic packaging crinkling in his gloves as he focused on the phone but kept working it open. He always preferred eating when possible to restore his strength over spells or Takemi's medicine, and the slight tremble in his shoulders said he'd pushed himself a bit too hard in that last fight. "His cell phone? Combined with the distortion of his uniform and this room... It's rather suggestive."

Haru tilted her head, puzzled. "It almost sounds like he fixated on the interrogation as soon as he was confused. That's...about the opposite effect you would expect though, isn't it?"

"Yeah. It's really not a normal reaction at all," Morgana said. His tail lashed against the floor in an anxious drumbeat.

Ryuji got what they meant; Tentarafoo wasn't exactly helpful for making people more focused. He just didn't get why they were talking about it right now. "Hey, can't we figure this out later? Like, maybe after we've gotten Joker out of here? Think it's safe to call today's infiltration done."

"Right, today's mission is now getting Joker back to base to rest," Futaba said. "Which means we need him to be able to act calm when we go leave the palace. Because Shido just _had_  to have a palace that's highly-guarded in both the metaverse and the real world. So! I'd like to have a good explanation for what happened when we wake him up. Solutions included, preferably. Because if we don't have any answers, he might jump to worst-case scenarios, and then we won't have a calm Joker at all."

Ryuji winced, glancing at the head of messy black hair resting on his shoulder. "Oh, yeah. Good point." Ren was not going to wake up happy. And, when they got back to the real world... they'd be reappearing right in front of the Diet building. Any attention Ren drew to himself was risky. If anyone in the conspiracy was alerted to a suspicious figure matching the description of the leader of the Phantom Thieves, it could be a total disaster. Starting with them realizing they didn't have a corpse from his 'suicide'. So it made sense that Futaba wanted to figure things out now, while he was still sleeping peacefully.

...Mostly peacefully. His expression looked a little tense, troubled. Ryuji covered his hand with his own, then moved it off, unable to help the thought that Ren would probably have pulled his hand away himself if he were awake.

"I don't want to be pessimistic," Haru said slowly. "But to make sure I understand...what is the worst-case scenario?"

Makoto broke her silence. She'd been staring at the table and chairs, but now she lifted her head ever so slightly to glance at Ren from the corner of her eyes. "The worst case would be that we need to finish this Palace without him. It may not be safe for him to go on infiltrations in the future. He...might not even be able to."

Makoto finally spoke up, and it was to say something like that. And no one looked surprised, not even Haru. Then again, she'd joined the team just in time for a string of bad situations turning worse. Ryuji was more appalled to realize that he wasn't all that shocked, either. "No."

"Skull--"

"No. Sure, you're right, that's the worst case scenario," he conceded, because he could see how Makoto reached that conclusion. Ren had lost his rebellious spirit, and he'd flipped out in a fight, and they didn't know why. But it had to be temporary, had to be something they could fix. "But it's pretty damn unlikely. Joker's stronger than that." They had to believe in him.

"It's not about how strong he is," Ann said.

Maybe it wasn't. But Ren... Ren needed to be able to go on infiltrations, even if maybe they'd started too soon. He was already isolated most of the day, having to play dead in a dusty attic. If even this got taken from him--Ryuji ground his teeth, pressing his mask against his face with both hands. "I know. Just. Mona, didn't you notice anything about him?"

"Nothing you guys haven't seen. He has some nightmares, but--"

"Are you for real? Nightmares were kind of important to tell us, Mona."

"He's still getting enough sleep," Morgana argued. "I have nightmares and I can fight just fine."

"Mona." Futaba paused in looking over Ren to turn her head toward the feline. "How frequent are your nightmares? How long have you been having them?"

The feline blinked and averted his eyes from her gaze, flicking an ear and seeming uneasy about the attention. "Maybe...every two or three nights? For a while? What's it matter, this isn't about me!"

Ryuji closed his eyes when everyone else looked at Morgana. Inhale. Pause.

One of the most annoying things about Morgana acting like such an effing know-it-all was how easily the attitude made everyone else forget that his amnesia meant he legitimately didn't get things sometimes. As much as he wanted to help look after Ren--Ryuji was sure Morgana was sincerely trying his best, so he shouldn't yell at the cat, but Morgana didn't know how to deal with his own feelings. Why had they thought he'd help with Ren's?

Exhale. 'Dumbass cat' was going to stay internal. Morgana didn't deserve it. Especially if he was having his own issues.

"You're right, Mona-chan," Haru said, crouching to get on his level, "Though we should probably discuss yours later." She glanced at Ren when a small whimper passed his lips. "Is he having one now? I know I've dreamed under Dormina..."

_"Wake him up."_

Haru trailed off as Ryuji stiffened. He looked at Yusuke, who'd already finished wolfing down the katsu bun, but the other teenager seemed to have been surprised by the command too. And while the voice had been male, it didn't sound like Yusuke's. Older, terser. Sure as hell not Morgana's. It...probably hadn't been said by someone in the room anyway, now that Ryuji thought about it. The volume of the voice had gone up and down in an unnatural way, like someone was fiddling with controls during a tv show.

Futaba had cupped her hands over her ears, lifting them after a few seconds. "Just to make sure, I'm not the only one who heard that, right?" she asked uncertainly. "My audio's not glitched?"

"I can assure you I heard that recording as well," Yusuke answered her. "But where it came from..."

_"No dozing off. ...Give it up!"_

Ren whimpered in his sleep, twisting so suddenly that Ryuji grabbed his shoulder to make sure he wouldn't fall. "Joker--hey, Joker." He thought that Ren might have been waking up, especially as his friend's face scrunched up in obvious discomfort, but his eyes didn't open.

_"Come on, cooperate. Or what, you want another shot?"_

"Skull, stop. We'll want Joker asleep just a little longer." Morgana took up his short sword. "Panther, can you look after him?"

"Mona, what's going on?" Makoto asked sharply. Ann looked as though she wanted to ask questions herself, but she didn't hesitate to circle around Ryuji and take the other side of Ren. Haru and Yusuke readied their weapons, following Morgana's cue, while Futaba started to work on her console, even if she flinched when the sourceless voice started again.

_"Don't expect to walk out of here in one piece."_

"Noir was right, he's having a nightmare. This isn't like a Palace's distortions, which build over time. This is a little more...unstable. But, if we handle this right, it could be in our favor. Getting rid of these guys could help Joker's mental state."

"These guys...?" Yusuke echoed.

Morgana's eyes were narrowed as they darted over the room. "Given what's being said...I'd bet these are cognitions of the guys who beat him. I only hear one talking, but there were more. Look at the shadows."

Ryuji tightened his hold on Ren while taking hold of his spiked rod. It took him a few seconds to figure out what Morgana meant about shadows, but then he saw it: the sole light was weak, leaving the corners of the room dark. Where the shadows started, where the light bled out into the dark, there was vibrating movement, as if the darkness was struggling to peel away from the wall.

"Three cognitive beings," Futaba reported. "They don't have any particular weaknesses. Heavy physical brawlers. ...Creeps are already focusing on Joker."

Makoto nodded her understanding. "We'll need to concentrate on keeping them away." The safe room was spacious, but it was still a closed space.

Three bodies emerged from the walls, each from a different corner. Ryuji looked over his shoulder to make sure one wasn't coming from the corner nearest them, Ann doing the same. But no, it seemed to only be three, just like Futaba had said. _Only_  three police officers who had beaten a teenager in custody. Fragmented pieces of a one-sided conversation continued to play as the cognitive beings formed. ( _"Manslaughter, too? -- You seemed to enjoy every second of it. -- Answer!"_ ) Their forms were only vaguely human-shaped at first, jetblack darkness, but as they pulled away their shape became more distinct, and they took on the features of adult men in suits--except.

"They're all...warped," Haru noted. They were more along the height of the tallest basketball players in the world than the average Japanese man, maybe even taller, their heads brushing the ceiling even with their backs bent, and they had a stout build besides. But even past the sheer size, something about the build was wrong, seeming to lean over and loom more than their height explained. And their faces were bland and rubbery-looking, unchanging from a severe expression, like they were wearing bad masks--but they wouldn't have needed to wear masks for real, right? What was up with that?

"I imagine Joker's cognition has taken liberties with their figures due to the feelings they instilled," Yusuke said. His voice had a frigid bite to it. "And that the perspective is warped because Joker viewed them mostly from the ground."

Ryuji was up on his feet, pushing Ren into Ann's hold, before he could even think twice. They'd all seen Ren's bruises, all been angry and horrified that the police would beat a suspect. But Ren hadn't said anything beyond acknowledging that he had taken some hits. How many times, by how many hands, the circumstances--he hadn't said, and Ryuji had never been able to picture it, part of him always shying away when it started seeming too real. This was painting a pretty vivid portrait, one that made him see red.

He wasn't the only one. "See how you like being ganged up on," Futaba muttered, multicolored fire brightening the room as the cognitions were gathered up and placed in a neat circle for the thrashing--Ryuji was already running in before Makoto called for the all-out attack. The cognitions' sheer size helped them endure hits and deal them out powerfully, but every thief was enthusiastic in their attacks.

A little too enthusiastic. "Everyone, stay focused!" Makoto reminded them. "Fox, back up Mona--!"

The extreme size difference between Morgana and the cognitive beings meant the feline thief was easily tossed aside when one of the hulking figures focused on him. Makoto's command had come too late for Yusuke to intervene. Ryuji winced at hearing Morgana hit the wall hard, but at the very least he was a little sturdier in the cognitive world than the real one. The goliath managed to break free from the circle and started rounding the table to approach Ann and Ren, but three slingshot pellets slammed against his back in quick succession. Morgana's aim had suffered--one of the pellets nearly missed the cognition entirely despite its size and proximity. Even so, the attack was enough to make the cognition pause. And then it erupted into flames. Ann must have concentrated her magic, because the conflagration was intense enough to make Ryuji break out in a sweat where he stood. It reduced the cognition to black ash almost immediately. Her eyes were burning as she hugged Ren closer to her, protective.

With their heads a little cooler, the thieves kept the remaining two cognitions penned in without any more incidents. Morgana hung back, but Zorro delivered a couple lucky punches and healing in his stead. The second cognition fell to Haru's axe and Yusuke's katana, and Makoto and Ryuji kept pummeling the last one even after it had started to melt away into nothing.

Ryuji's weapon clanged against the hard floor as he sucked down air. That seemed over way too fast, but he'd burned a lot of energy. "Kinda wish those jackasses had been real," he muttered.

Makoto rubbed her knuckles gingerly as she scanned the room, making sure no new cognitions were about to form. Haru, doubled over the handle of her ax, gave Ryuji a wide smile that held no judgment whatsoever. "You know what? I feel the same."

"R--Joker! You're awake!"

Ann's exclamation got their attention immediately.

Ren's eyes were open. He was definitely awake, gray eyes tracking their movements, but he was also still leaning against Ann and making no move to leave her hold. That wasn't a bad thing in the least, but it didn't match how he'd been pulling away from anyone trying to touch him lately. His thief clothes still weren't reappearing. He looked exhausted. Ryuji had to wonder if that was because he'd been under Dormina so long--if you could oversleep in the real world, you could probably oversleep in the Metaverse--or if it was something else.

At least he wasn't trying to attack anyone? And nothing was getting distorted again. Yet.

"Hello, sleeping beauty," Haru called to him in an airy, cheerful voice. "How are you feeling?"

"...Good," he mumbled with a small smile. "You saved me?"

In other circumstances, the sleepy eyes and smile would have been cute, but Ren was definitely still out of it. And the faint surprise in his voice spoiled the brief satisfaction Ryuji had gotten from pummeling those cognitions. It was an unpleasant reminder that in reality, they hadn't been able to save him from those men. Might not ever know who they'd been to bring them to justice. Maybe they'd saved Ren from one nightmare, but...

"Of course," Haru said. "We are the Phantom Thieves!" she declared, striking a pose similar to the one she'd used to declare herself Beauty Thief. "And you're our dear friend, Joker," she added more gently. "You'd never leave one of us in trouble, and we wouldn't leave you."

It was obvious she was trying to lift up the mood, playing up the noble act that, well, wasn't that much an act with Haru, but turned into theatrics when she was being Noir. As Joker, Ren would sometimes go back and forth with her, the two taking turns ramping up the chivalry until Haru was giggling too much or Ren got too flustered to continue.

But when Ren's smile flattened out, it was clear there would be no banter. Ann, still holding him, gave him a worried glance. Ryuji didn't know what to make of the blank look on his friend's face, just knew that the stretching silence made Haru's smile flicker and dim and set his skin itching. Why wasn't he answering her? Did he really think they'd leave him hanging?

He remembered a text from Ann two nights ago at 1 am: 'Do you think he resents us, because he had to go through it alone?'

"Hey," Ryuji blurted out, right as Morgana cleared his throat. They exchanged a glance.

The feline's tail thumped the floor once. "We'd never leave one of our own," he insisted to Ren.  "But, Joker--you know where we are, right? This isn't the interrogation room."

Right, no need to freak out. Maybe Ren was just having trouble waking up. "We're on Shido's shitty ship," Ryuji added, to help him catch up to speed.

Ren looked from Morgana to Ryuji. The distant look on his face didn't go away completely, but his eyes started to focus more, blinking away the bleariness, and his forehead wrinkled as he struggled to pull his thoughts together. It was obvious when he actually registered that he wasn't dreaming because he tensed up everywhere. Ann let him go as he sat up. "Why is _this_  part of his cognition?"

"I-it's not," Makoto told him. "We're in a safe room."

Ryuji winced. He sympathized with her, because he wasn't exactly itching to tell Ren why they were in a lookalike of the interrogation room either, but the look Ren gave her for that lackluster explanation was nothing short of incredulous. "Safe? Those cognitions didn't look safe." He tugged at one sleeve of his rumpled blazer, then rubbed his wrist. He glanced down at himself in confusion for a brief second, but he was so worked up, looking this way and that at the room, that Ryuji wasn't sure he'd actually noticed the changed clothes or realized what they meant. "We can't stay here. How did it even..."

His hand flew up to his face. To the area around his eyes. Fingers tapped frantically, searching for a mask that wasn't there. When he realized he wasn't going to find it, both hands covered his face while also grabbing fistfuls of his hair, tugging hard enough to look painful. Ryuji left his rod on the floor as he rushed closer. "Joker!"

Haru approached too, kneeling with a concerned murmur to Ren, and Ann put both hands on his shoulders in a gentle attempt to get him to stop pulling his hair. But he didn't. Instead, his shoulders started to shake, and Ryuji tried to swallow down the lump in his throat. Ren was pretty sharp--he'd already figured out the distortion was from him, hadn't he?

"Don't crowd him!" Futaba demanded. Ann looked at her, torn, but reluctantly took her hands back to herself.

Morgana took a step forward. "Joker, I have a Goho-M from our stash. We can leave the palace and figure out what happened to you back at our hideout. But you have to calm down before we can leave." His usual authoritative tone took on a pleading note. "You can't draw any attention to yourself in the real world."

Ren's shoulders tensed as he tried to force them to still. "What happened...? We were fighting, and... Arsene... come back, just a little longer..."

Ryuji frowned, trying to catch Ren's expression behind his hands. It sounded like he was trying to bargain with his persona, which... wasn't reassuring. At all. "Hey, man, don't strain yourself. Like Mona said, we're done for today."

Ren shook his head. "We only got two letters, we still need three--"

"That's not important right now. No one cares about that," Ryuji said quickly, because seriously, _the letters_? "We gotta take care of you first." Ren shook his head again. "No? No, what? You really think anyone gives a shit about the letters right now?"

"Skull." Several people said his codename in a warning tone, and he looked over his shoulder at the others incredulously. Were they getting on his case for language? Now?

"If we... If we stop here..." Yet another headshake. "Have to keep going."

"No, we don't. You can't." Ryuji would be all set to drag Ren out of the palace himself, if that wouldn't lead to _immediately_  making a scene in the real world. What the hell was going through his head?

"You don't understand--"

"Then tell me what I'm missing!"

_"Answer!"_

Ryuji's blood ran cold even before the collar of his jacket was grabbed in a fist, Haru neatly hauling him to his feet like she was picking up a bag of fertilizer. He shuffled along with her as she pulled him back, away from Ren, and only nodded when she said, "Skull? I'm going to ask you to calm down too."

Because Ren had flinched at him yelling. He'd gotten worked up without catching himself--shit. Shit, he deserved a time-out. Probably deserved worse than that. Ren was the last person he should be losing his temper with.

"Sorry, Joker," he muttered, looking down at the floor. No one said anything, probably because it was a pretty cheap apology, so he took a breath and tried to find the words to make things better. But how did you fix a situation this fucked up? "Look...even if you can keep going, somehow, I can't." He didn't think Ren could either, was pretty sure bargaining with yourself was a sign of desperation, but Ren had surprised them plenty of times before. So, maybe. "It's pretty obvious you got hurt here, more'n just bruises, an' it's startin' to get scary that you won't talk about it." Might be nightmare-ish, now that he'd seen those cognitions. "We... I thought if we took care of Shido, it'd help you out, but this ain't helping. I'm not gonna ask you to talk to me, 'cause I just... proved how much I'd suck at that, but...can we go home, and you talk to _someone_  about what happened to you...?"

Even an apology had turned into pleading. Ryuji shook his head at himself.

"...I wish you'd all stop worrying about me," Ren said. His voice was very quiet, a whisper in the room. "It's not what they did to me. That was bad. But, I--I--..."

His voice had gone choked up, and when Ryuji looked at him, he grew even more alarmed. He could see Ren's lips working, as if he were trying to speak, but nothing was coming out except strangled, frustrated breaths. His hands over his face started to shake again.

"Joker." A concerned murmur from Makoto.

Morgana touched a paw to one trouser leg. "You don't have to push yourself right now. We can talk about it later. Or, just you, with whoever you're most comfortable with."

Ren grimaced, but he stopped for a minute, collected himself. "It...has to be everyone. It's why Arsene is gone. Because, here, I--" He paused. Breathed in. Breathed out. Finally took down his hands from his face, showing red-rimmed, wet eyes that stared at no one in the group, but past them, to the interrogation table, as his arms wrapped around his stomach. "I was going to make a deal."

A look around told Ryuji he wasn't the only one lost. "What sort of deal?" Makoto asked, her tone careful.

It seemed like two minutes passed before Ren's lips moved. He said it so quietly that it was barely audible to Ryuji where he stood. "To name all of you."

Everyone froze. Yusuke was the first one to react, losing his temper before Ryuji had even processed what Ren could mean by that. "You were going to sell us out?! What in the world could--"

Ren tightened his arms around himself while Ann shot to her feet like she was ready to meet ice with fire, but it was Futaba who stopped Yusuke before he could go into a tirade, speaking quickly. "Inari, think for a minute. He didn't. Obviously."

The artist glanced down at her, then looked to Ren again. "Yet you _wanted_  to?" There was still fury in his voice, but Ryuji could hear the heartbreak in there as well.

He felt it, too, when Ren half-nodded, half-shrugged, unable to look anyone in the eye. "That doesn't make any sense," the blond argued. "You're not that kinda guy." Ren had awakened to his persona by refusing to run or try to save himself, and that was when they were just strangers. But with Ren himself saying it--Ryuji couldn't help thinking of how screwed they would have been if Ren had named them. A confession like that would have given the police the justification they needed to arrest everyone, wouldn't it? God, they could have shown up at their doors. His mom would have flipped--

He decided to stop thinking there. He didn't need to wonder if they might have arrested his mom, too, as a possible accomplice. Except now that idea was definitely stuck.

So that was how bad it'd been. Even though it'd been part of the plan, Ren had hated them so much for leaving him, he'd wanted to...? It still wasn't adding up for Ryuji, two and two making pi, but then, he'd always sucked at math and dealing with friendships turned sour.

"Right," Ann chimed in, even though she was pale in the face, probably thinking along the same lines. "That's _not_  something you'd do."

"...Sorry. That's what I would have thought, too."

"...No, I agree with Skull and Panther," Haru said, taking them by surprise. She looked uneasy herself, tugging her hat low over her face, but what Ryuji could see of her expression was thoughtful. "You clearly feel guilty for considering it. Isn't that why you didn't take the deal? I don't think--none of us were there or went through what you did, we can't judge you for being tempted by--" She stumbled. Halted, looking confused. "You didn't say who offered the deal. It couldn't have been Crow."

"No way the deal was offered by Crow," Futaba said. "One, I punted him into the metaverse, so he and Joker never spoke, and two, if they had, he would have headshot Joker when he refused. Which leaves... a prosecutor, who offered... what?"

"Reduced sentencing."

Everyone stilled again. This time it was less of a sudden shock and more a fog of confusion settling over them, making them slow down to a halt. After a few seconds, Morgana made an uncertain sound. "Joker, you weren't going to be sentenced," the feline pointed out. "That--"

"--that doesn't make any fucking sense," Ryuji muttered, because yeah, what the hell?

Makoto shook her head, staring at Ren. "You would have been killed long before you went to trial." She stated the obvious and incredibly morbid like she needed to hear it said out loud, because what he was saying was simply that nonsensical. "You knew that. We discussed it several times. You knew a deal like that would be useless."

"Well. Maybe I also wanted her to stay longer so those guys wouldn't come back. But I." Ren actually laughed. A little too breathy for his normal laugh, and possibly sending some creeps up Ryuji's spine because nothing about this was funny. "I remembered that, yeah. Or I remembered the plan? I remembered--I remembered something. That's why I didn't take the deal.  But if I hadn't remembered, I would have."

Makoto's eyes bulged. "Are you saying you forgot--?"

"Ailments don't count," Ryuji blurted out over Makoto. He'd heard enough, because she was right, Ren was saying he'd forgotten and that was--two and two making four again, drugs the police used so people couldn't lie in interrogations because they couldn't remember and they couldn't think straight, and if Ren had forgotten for even a second that Akechi was going to murder him-- "Anything you do when your head's getting fucked up _doesn't count_ , Joker, we agreed on that right at the start, when that succubus got me!"

"It wasn't--"

"Ailments don't count," Futaba seconded, raising a hand as she cut Ren off. "Joker, next time open with the part where you were drugged out of your mind." She paused. "That's purely a hypothetical. There's not going to be a next time. I'll give the cops a real criminal to worry about if they ever go after you again."

Another tally was added to the score of how many times the girls were scary, but the sentiment was one Ryuji agreed with. The blond turned to Yusuke, wondering if he'd need persuading, but the other teenager's face had cleared of the earlier anger. He looked more guilty now, though some relief showed too. "Ailments don't count," he agreed quietly. "I hadn't realized how badly the drugs affected you, Joker."

Yeah, neither had Ryuji. They didn't exactly have a frame of reference for the police shooting people up with questionable 'truth serum' drugs. He never would have guessed how bad it'd been when Ren had only said he'd been 'woozy' and made a flippant comment about not being able to remember a minor detail because of the drugs. Ren downplayed things way too far sometimes.

...Why hadn't he said sooner how badly the drugs had affected his memory? He hadn't tried at all to defend himself when Yusuke yelled. Like he'd wanted Yusuke mad at him.

"I could...I could still think, though. I understood the deal. Even without remembering about Crow, I shouldn't have--"

"No, stop it," Ann told him firmly. "Your brain was fried. We're just going to be glad that you remembered in time."

Futaba nodded. "If your logic and memory cores are on the fritz when you need them working to stay alive, we don't expect your morality core to be online and fully functional. That's stupid."

Ren didn't say anything, but there were tears pricking at his eyes again, and he hastily covered one eye with his hand.

Futaba frowned at him, then glanced away. "...I think I get it, though. If we get angry with you for considering the deal, it was your fault. You can punish yourself and feel bad and not worry about something like that happening again, because you at least had control of yourself. If it wasn't your fault, it's scarier. You can try punishing yourself, but you can't trust that next time won't end up being a disaster, because you were losing control." She paused, like she was awaiting Ren's reaction to her analysis, but his mouth was pressed shut. Ryuji wondered if she might have hit the nail a little too firmly on the head. She sighed. "Which might explain why you getting hit by Tentarafoo _was_  a disaster!"

That last part got Ren's attention, with him looking up at her. "Does it?"

"Your readings were kind of like Noir's when she's under an ailment, like your brain was trying to pull off a fast heal. But it _wasn't_  clearing the confusion, and you started crashing hard after you got hit. Her brain finds a way to center back to reality. Your brain...might be trying to do the same thing, but I'm guessing that having confusion made you think you were back here. Your brain decided the interrogation room was reality and panicked. Confusion got powered up instead of debuffed." She walked up to Ren and stuck out her hand, long enough for him to take it after a puzzled look. "Welcome to the stupid brain club. I'd tell you to unequip that sucktastic skill, but I know it's not that easy."

"If that's the case, we have to make sure he doesn't get hit by that again," Makoto said firmly.

Ren gave a soft, self-deprecating laugh. "Not hard when I can't fight--"

"You ain't quitting," Ryuji interrupted. Ren paused, looking at him with surprise. "I know you better than that, man. You need a break, yeah--you're definitely taking a break. And then you're gonna find that rebellious spirit again, 'cause you know you wanna rearrange Shido's stupid face with the rest of us." That surprised look on Ren's face wasn't going away, and Ryuji looked around at the others, checking to see who would back him up.

Ann knelt down by Ren again, her shoulders close but not quite touching his. "He's right, Joker. Take a break, okay? You'll feel better. We'll all help you."

Oh. Ren tried to smile at her, but it was a shaky thing, and he was blinking fast again. Ann gave him a gentle smile in return and placed a calming hand in his hair. This time, he leaned slightly into the touch.

Ryuji stepped up to Ren's side. "We okay?" he asked. A nod and one hand reaching for him was all the signal Ryuji needed to fling himself down by Ren's side and wrap his arm around his friend's shoulders in a hug.

The way Ren clutched at the back of his jacket made him choke up a little. They'd started thinking he might be angry with them, but he obviously wasn't; he'd been more upset that he'd nearly fallen for an offer that would have ended with all of them hurt. ...starting with him getting shot point-blank, and Ryuji squeezed Ren a little tighter at that thought. Futaba's talk about him wanting to keep control by blaming himself made Ryuji want to talk with Ren more, but... not now. Feelings needed time to cool down. And Ren really needed to go back to Leblanc and rest.

Yusuke raised eyebrows when he lay on his back and put his head square in Ren's lap, but the odd gesture at least distracted Ren from his tears, and everyone understood the artist's reasoning when he flipped open his sketchbook, propping it against his knees. This way, Ren had a clear view of the book too. "Let's forget this dreary place, Joker. Where would you rather be?"

"...The beach. It was nice, going there with everyone," Ren said. "Though Noir wasn't with us yet..."

"We'll have to find an occasion to go next summer vacation," Yusuke said. "What do you think, Noir?"

"That would be lovely," she said, and Yusuke's pencil began to fly over the blank page, filling it with sketched lines. It was impressive how quickly he could work even in an awkward-looking position, and Ryuji felt Ren's shuddering breaths start to even out as the scene gradually took form in the shape of waves lapping at the sand and the silhouettes of a group of friends standing together. Yusuke's eye for detail was incredible: seashells began to dot the beach, and two lobsters scuttled at the side of page because of course he'd draw his lobsters, and as far as Ryuji could tell he'd remembered everyone's swimsuits correctly. Haru was added in, drawn wearing a broad-brimmed sun hat and a flowing lace cover-up; the sketchbook was turned momentarily to Haru to get her hummed approval. The artist ignored Morgana as the feline thief carefully climbed into Ren's lap as well, settling himself between Yusuke's head and Ren's torso and starting to rumble out a purr, long and loud. If it'd been any other time, Ryuji might have teased Morgana for being able to purr like that even in his most human-like form, but not when he was doing it for a good cause. The sound instantly brought strength to Ren's tremulous smile.

Ryuji's eyes flicked up as he realized the room was starting to lighten. Not by a drastic degree, but the shadows were no longer so dark in the corners. Ren didn't seem to have noticed at all, focused on the movement of the artist's hand and pencil and giving quiet answers as Yusuke asked him for his own impressions of the scenery that day, but Ann caught Ryuji's attention and gave him a hopeful smile. He shot her a grin back. Futaba seemed encouraged too, elbowing Makoto in the side to get her to notice. They were sitting by themselves, talking something over quietly--from their intense expressions, Ryuji would say they were making plans.

"Joker," Haru said. She'd gotten a 1UP from their supplies and was offering it to him. "You need to drink something."

"Mm. Thanks." She was right; Ren sounded like his throat was dried out. Haru handed it over to him before settling in by Ann's side to watch Yusuke work.

A little time passed like that, the beach sketch drawing nearer to completion, and then Makoto spoke up. "Not to interrupt Fox, but we should cover our next step. Starting with, I don't want anyone to even mention palaces or infiltrations for the next three days. We're not going."

"Unanimous vote blocked by Queen and me," Futaba said. "And anyone with sense. We're going to take this Palace by storm, but first, we're taking a break."

"Joker, if you feel ready on Wednesday, just let us all know. If you need longer, that's fine too. Please be honest with us. With yourself, as well."

"...Sorry," he said, tugging at a strand of hair. "Thought it'd be best to get this done as quickly as possible."

Morgana bumped his chin with his head. It wasn't hard, but guessing from the nonplussed look on Ren's face, the gesture worked better when Mona had a smaller cat head. "I think we're all to blame for rushing this one," the feline told him. "So let's just chalk it up to a lesson learned."

"Whenever Joker is ready, we'll do a trip to Mementos first. Familiar territory, fewer surprises, clear out any worthwhile requests from the Phan-site," Futaba continued. "Though before that, we're going to stock up on relax gels. Tons of 'em."

"I never want to hear 'our last one's bobbing in the sea' again," Makoto muttered. "It might also be good if Noir stays in the group with you for...a while. A calming mask might be enough protection, but we're both worried about if any other ailments could trigger the same sort of spiral: fear, despair, or forget, for that matter."

"That...makes sense," Ren admitted, even if he clearly didn't like the idea. "You fine babysitting me, Noir?"

Only Haru could actually tut at someone. "You help me take cover from nuclear attacks, and I'll help you with ailments. That's only fair, isn't it?"

"...Yeah. Fair enough." Ryuji could hear the small smile in Ren's voice, and there was a gentle warmth at his side, blue fire. The room brightened and stayed brighter. He turned his head to look directly at Ren's face, but it was partially covered by a white domino mask.

No blazer. The trench coat was back.

Ren kept sipping at his 1UP like he was going to completely ignore the fact that he was now holding it in a red-gloved hand. "Hey. Hey Joker," Ryuji said.

Morgana was staring up at him, his tail waving happily. "Joker...!"

Ann snorted, and the hand that had stopped still in Ren's hair now scrunched it up in tufts, breaking his poker face as he tried to duck away from it. Yusuke quickly sat up and Morgana scrambled to get away from the commotion. "You dork, don't try to act all cool about it!" she scolded, but she was beaming warm and bright.

"It's just--Panther, c'mon--you guys were so matter of fact that I'd keep going with you that...yeah, why wouldn't I?" Ann relented, backing off as Ren straightened back up. "Why should I lose trust in my judgment when I know you'll catch me if my head's getting screwed up? That--that was a one-time deal. It's done. And Skull had a good point."

"Huh?" Ryuji said. That was a new one.

Ren slanted a glance at him, smirking. "I really, really want to get even with Shido."

Ryuji barked out a laugh. He knew the cockiness was partly an act, but there was a real confidence behind it, too, since Ren hadn't been surprised by his outfit returning. He'd be okay.  They weren't going to leave him alone ever again.

"We're still taking a break," Makoto cautioned, but she looked relieved.

"Absolutely. Get me off this boat."

"Now that's what I like to hear," Ryuji said, standing up and giving Ren a hand. He might've lost it if they'd started on the letters again.

The team had to split up as they returned to the real world to draw less attention: Ann walked out with Haru, Yusuke on his own, and Ren left with both Makoto and Morgana. Last time it had been only Ren and Morgana, since it was risky for him to be noticed with any of the Phantom Thieves known to be alive, but Makoto was pretty good at not drawing attention to herself, at least when she wasn't trying to stalk someone...and she seemed to want to look after Ren.

Futaba sighed after they left. "Queenie's feeling guilty again. Sometimes you gotta accept the enemy overwhelmed you."

"Yeah. So you're holding up okay, right?" The plan for the interrogation room--they'd all helped with it, but Futaba and Makoto had pretty much been the brains behind it. It was no surprise that Makoto wouldn't take hearing how close it had come to failing, in a way worse than any of them had even considered, very well. Or seeing how much it had really affected Ren.

"I soaked up guilt for two years. Pickled in it. I have immunity now," she said crisply, which, damn, there wasn't much Ryuji could say to that. "And Joker is a key item. Those are pretty sturdy."

She still held his arm a little tighter than she needed to as they emerged in front of the Diet building, taking up a casual stroll with the other pedestrians like they were just passing through. Ryuji didn't mention it. "Yeah. He's pretty tough. Let's play some games with him tonight, yeah? Keep him company." He was glad Futaba living near Leblanc gave the rest of them an excuse to visit there a little more often.  He needed them, and they needed to make sure he didn't shut himself off again.

"Mm. Sounds good."

**Author's Note:**

> P5's bad endings are kind of fascinating to me in that they seem just a little off. The sellout bad ending is presented as a moral choice failed, and for the players, it definitely is. For a teenager who's been beaten and drugged so heavily that he didn't remember his life was in immediate danger... it gets murkier. And the protagonist can start to make the decision and then back off, so it was interesting to think of him lingering on it as a moral evil he would have committed if it had made sense. Meanwhile, the team is used to ailments that make people abandon or even attack friends, so everyone else is a little less inclined to hold someone put in that position accountable.
> 
> Though I only started playing with the bad ending on the third draft. The very first draft of this had the complications start with Ren getting hit by Forget instead and played out very differently and from his pov. Really, the only consistent elements have always been "the team went into Shido's Palace before Ren dealt with his trauma, and he ends up breaking a safe room with his own distortions from trauma."
> 
> I'd love to hear any feedback, here or @auncyen on tumblr!


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